I never thought I would find myself back here. The blank walls, the depressing spill-proof patterns on the carpet, the lifeless half-smiles offered by passers-by on the way to the copy machine, the pseudo-professionalism attempted by people who have all but given up on achieving anything in life...
Ok, that last line was a low-blow but my point is that I'm back in an office. "Working for the man" as some like to call it. How did I end up here? After years of bad-mouthing the man and vowing to "never do that again" I find myself staring at a computer screen watching my back to make sure the man doesn't see me writing a blog instead of...well...doing whatever it is I was supposed to do today to make sure the wheels of Acme Corporation are running smoothly, and Americans are continuing to buy things, thereby keeping our economy strong. Wow, I didn't realize how important my job was until I put it on paper.
We Christians like to call this "tent-making". We frequently use this phrase (referring to Paul making tents in order to have money while he travelled and preached) when trying to justify our jobs that give us the monetary resources in which to participate in other things that are seemingly more important and give us a true sense of self. I don't disagree entirely. We must work; it is essential to life and, I believe, a part of the ordered creation (See Genesis 1-2). Work isn't the problem--toiling in our work is (See Genesis 3).
So what, you ask? Well, am I really tent-making? I am a tax accountant for a large, international, pipeline engineering company. Some would argue that the oil & gas industry has done much more to hurt the world than help it. Tents protect people from the scorching sun and cold rains--i'm not sure a tent has ever hurt anyone. But I'm not making tents, I'm making pipelines. The ethical questions abound and unfortunately there are more questions than people are willing to admit. Sure, I may just be pipeline-making to pay for food right now, but is what I'm doing (in the big picture) honoring God, creation, the Kingdom? It would be one thing if I didn't have a choice, but I do. And everyday I fear I've chosen poorly.
Unfortunately this is a post without resolve. I will come to work again tomorrow, make my $$$, and go home. Then I will find meaning.
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
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2 comments:
kc,
i see a lot of your points. and i think that there is as you say not a lot of resolve. but that's not really what the blog deal is about. really though, i'm not sure if the tent making issue is about what the product is used for or what the profit is used for. those $$$ could maybe shelter a few people. and you know that. much more than i actually. but my bottom line, as i have told you before is to drop out of the office and become a teacher! it's the profession of wonders. on a lighter note - try and rock their world by staining their carpet.
the thing is, i think, how do you get those profits? i just wonder what system i'm contributing to sometimes, even though i'm just the low man on the totem pole. systematic injustice is a tricky thing. and i hope you also know that i'm just ranting a little because i don't want to work behind a desk....its not ALL that bad.
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