Love, Pt. 2

I was reading over my last post and I realize that I don't finish thoughts very well. I will try to become better at it as I get used to blogging. Moving on....

1. Love God
2. Love Others

So I struggle with loving others which is really inseparable from loving God. I am selfish and it is hard for me to even imagine a life spent loving others as well as I love myself. That is my recap.

I need and want and desire things from people. Love, affection, attention, value, dignity, and encouragement would only be the start of the list. Am I alone in those desires? I need to either believe that those are my own problems or I can believe that those (and many more problems) are a part of the human condition that I share with all humanity. I think this makes a big difference in how we approach our own lives and the lives of others. If I think I'm alone in these needs I will either not open up to others because of shame or deliberately seek out fulfillment of these needs from others. I believe both of these are the wrong answer. The other option I have is to believe that all of us, every human being, lives in a fallen world and has a similar experience of life than me. This is not to say that we are all the same for God created us each uniquely, but we must recognize the similar situation we are all in. Creation, Fall, and Redemption. We all live and breath in that reality.

By believing that my problems and needs are not just my own but inherent to all who live in God's world, albeit fallen, I am able to recognize the inability for others to fulfill those needs for me. Along with that I must also recognize my inability to fulfill those same needs for others. What that should do for me is allow me to enter into my own struggles and pain in order to become a source of light and hope for others. Henri Nouwen would call this "the wounded healer." Think about it in terms of the word Compassion. Com = With, Passion = Suffering. Suffering with. So to have compassion is not to show pity, not to show kindness, not to simply love or care for, although those are all aspects of compassion. True compassion would be entering into your own sufferings in order to suffering along with others.

So loving myself should be recognizing the reality of my situation and living through it. Loving others should be recognizing not only the reality of my situation but the situation of all humanity. Only then can I cease to look to others for the fulfillment of my needs but I can move with others into God's love and compassion and recognize the source of life and fulfillment.

I need to believe this, though, and that is the hard part. To live this would mean a complete change of lifestyle that I may not be willing to take on.

More to come...